If Things Run Differently
by lunaryu
Summary: Having one-sided love wasn't easy, especially if he was an obnoxious dimwitted thickheaded straight boy who already had mind on another girl. Still, for the sake of his smile only, Gen could endure being by his side. No, he needed to be. CONTINUED Part3!
1. Smile

**If Things Run Differently**

**Fandom: **Kekkaishi

**Genre: **Romance-Friendship

**Rating: **T/15+

**Pairing: **Gen/Yoshimori

**Characters: **All possibly

**Disclaimer: Kekkaishi belongs to Tanabe Yellow. Luna only borrows the character to play with**

**Warning: **_Semi AU, possible oOC-ness (I hope not), shounen ai and fluff_

**Summary: **Having a one-sided love wasn't nice at all, especially if the said crush was an obnoxious dimwitted thickheaded moronic straight boy who already had mind on another woman. Still, for the sake of his smile only, Gen could endure being by his side. No, he needed to be by his side.

**A/N: **I am getting frustrated because there's not enough fanfic for Kekkaishi, especially Gen/Yoshi pairing. I mean…come on! They're HOT together! Why would everyone not want to ship them!? I want to read really badly, but there's just not enough! DX That's why; I decide to make one myself. I hope this will turn alright ^__^

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**If Things Run Differently**

_**Smile**_

Gen didn't know since when it had started. Things had been rather bizarre lately.

Was he in hormone turmoil? He was not sure of that. Well, yeah, he was fourteen and all, but that applied if you're a normal boy. Did it happen to _Ayakashi Majiri_ as well? Or if his animal instinct or _ayakashi instinct_ was dominant, would it be called 'in heat' instead of in hormone turmoil?

Then was it a moment of confusion? Oh, no; Gen refused to regard it as a moment of _insanity_. That would be absurd because Gen was positive that he was not crazy at this moment. He was fully aware. It was so vivid it almost hurt his teeth.

Okay, that was definitely not helping. Gen sighed as he scratched the back of his neck, face strangely looking painful for some reasons he _himself_ didn't fully understand. It was a fine shiny day and as usual, he was on the rooftop, spending his time napping. Well, if he could actually sleep, it would be called napping, but because he failed to sleep, his mind kept wandering in a territory he didn't even know existed in his head.

And the most annoying thing was…the source of his frustration was there as well, sleeping peacefully inside a kekkai, unaware of the crazy things happening inside Gen's head while the spiky haired scary-eyed boy was listening to the other boy's faint sound of breaths escaping through his mouth steadily.

If it was possible and _allowed_, Gen would strangle the boy to death in order to stop that sound. It was driving him nuts. Gen couldn't help sighing in exasperation. How come he found the other boy's company unbearable? Since when and how? Gen really should stop thinking or his mind would explode, because it was obvious that he didn't know the answers.

It was just…sort of happening before Gen even noticed it. If he tried to trace back his memory, it might start after that day, when Atora gave them a challenge to test their ability to work as a team. That day…after they won the challenge, the thing said by SumimuraYoshimori while strongly holding his hand… _"I won't let go of your hand."_ It was a serious statement. There was no doubt in his voice and his eyes it surprised Gen very much.

At that time…Gen couldn't name his feeling with anything else but happiness. Gen had felt a strange bond forming between him, Yoshimori and that Yukimura girl. It was close to friendship he couldn't believe it at first. Still, after that incident with Kaguro, Gen losing his control of his power and the possibility of his withdrawal from Karasumori, back to Urakai, Gen found it really hard to part with them.

It might be because that day Yoshimori had come to his house bringing him some sweets he had made himself with effort just for him. Well, Yoshimori did tell him it was an experiment, but the fact that he tried to get a reaction from him afterwards rather intrigued him. Gen hated sweets, but when the opponent was looking at him with those wide innocent expectant eyes, he couldn't help feeling guilty if he said it was bad. So, he just said _"It's not bad,"_ and he thought his answer would not satisfy Yoshimori's curiosity. However then, a happy smile bloomed on his face it made Gen widen his eyes as well.

Gen had to look at anywhere else but Yoshimori to keep his expression in check. He didn't think his comment would get such a reaction from the other boy. His smile was genuine satisfaction he could not understand what made him so happy. Was his comment so great? He was sure he said it flatly.

Then Atora just had to barge in and told Yoshimori that Gen hated sweets. He looked really guilty and disappointed afterwards for forcing Gen to eat sweets. Gen had convinced him that the chocolate cake was fine even though he didn't like sweets, but then Yoshimori just smiled and promised to make another sweet which was less sweet for him. Gen couldn't help thinking that Yoshimori was trying hard to know him more…as a friend. It was really…strange in Gen's opinion, but he didn't hate the strange feeling. If it was possible, probably he found it pleasant.

And then…and then…things just became weirder and weirder after that. Of course the three of them, he meant Yoshimori, Yukimura girl and him, still did their job protecting Karasumori from ayakashi and Kokuborou. It was not easy, but they could manage to do it with their combination attacks. Still, the things that turned weird didn't run visibly like a cat starting having period or something like that, more like…Gen's head was the one which turned odd. He started noticing small things about Yoshimori that he usually ignored. Things like how good he looked when he was fighting under the moonlight or how pale his skin compared to his. Things like how he would blush while scrunching his eyebrows when he was praised suddenly and how soft his gaze was whenever he was calmly looking at the night view of Karasumori land from his kekkai at the free air.

Then Gen started wondering how the boy would look if he was in _that situation_. Well, if you wondered what kind of situation running inside Gen's head, you needed to be at least 18 years old to witness it. Gen didn't know why he suddenly wondered that way. Heck, he had never even thought about that even though he had the hottest girl offer him her body before, so why the heck he would start wonder now, especially when the subject of his wonder was a boy in his age, who happened to be his friend and teammate and was obviously as straight as arrow.

Gen had barely considered him a friend before, so why did it suddenly leap into something else as significantly as it did now? Could that be even possible? He even considered a thought that he might be possessed whenever his mind started picking up Yoshimori's images involving with many-many inappropriate situations.

Then…without knowing the direction of Gen's mind when he was thinking, Yoshimori, that dimwitted bastard, was not even considerate to Gen's situation. He kept approaching him and making the sharp-eyed guy more miserable. He would do things that made Gen happy. It was insignificant and nothing more than friendly gesture, but it almost threw the other boy to heaven whenever he smiled at him and touched him. Okay, 'touch' was a different word; he merely brushed him on his hand or on shoulder, sometime on his back if they were fighting together back to back.

And each time it happened, Gen realized that it was improper to imagine such ting and kept berating himself inwardly to forget it. He was afraid that his feeling would turn into obsession that would end up him being hated by the other boy. Yoshimori had considered him as a friend and he needed him as one, no more no less. If he found out about his feeling, he would be disgusted and would definitely hate him.

Gen didn't want to lose his bond that'd finally formed between them. Anyway, Yoshimori liked that Yukimura girl, so it was impossible to begin with. He also wondered why his feeling didn't go for Yukimura instead of Yoshimori. Was there any difference between how they treat Gen? Normally, a guy would be attracted to a girl, right? So why the hell was he attracted to Yoshimori rather than Yukimura? It didn't make any sense.

However then, it was no use even though he tried to think a reasonable reason for his weird feeling. He still didn't know the answer. It was too complicated his head couldn't come up with any good excuse. He liked Yoshimori more than a friend, so what? Anyway, he only had to hide it. Gen was trained to be emotionless, so he was positive that his lack of expression would help him do this job.

Still…if you saw your crush hitting on another girl everyday in front of your eyes, of course at some point you would feel jealous as well. Gen began to act distantly from Yoshimori, and Yoshimori seemed aware of it at some degrees. Moreover, that strange ayakashi, Kaguro, suddenly appeared before him and offered him to join him or more like…to turn himself into full ayakashi. He even gave him a strange egg that somehow knew whatever inside his heart and his head; it started taunting him with his recent weakness: Yoshimori.

Horrible images of Gen turning into beast someday that would hurt Yoshimori and Yukimura were unbearable. Still…he couldn't throw away the nightmarish egg because it was the only thing knowing about his feeling to Yoshimori; the ultimate proof that he was indeed aware and was not imagining things. His mind became unstable and he felt angry. He was disgusted at himself because he had such weakness, such fear and he couldn't tell anybody else because he didn't have anyone to tell. Of course he couldn't bring a subject as sensitive as that to both Yoshimori and Yukimura. It was too shameful even for himself.

Then…because of the unreleased frustration which was becoming more and more unbearable, he snapped in front of Yoshimori just because the boy didn't stop pestering him whether he was alright or not. Gen almost hurt him with his own claws, just like that day…when he hurt his sister. It threw him over board so much. It shocked Gen so much because he was still capable of using his power which he had swore to use to protect people, to hurt the most important person in his life. He was immediately convinced that he was indeed a monster that caused nothing but misfortune to people he loved.

Of course, Yoshimori was not hurt; he was just surprised and thought he had made Gen angry again. He apologized first, but it made Gen more miserable than before. It was not Yoshimori's fault, but he had snapped at him and almost hurt him. Gen was the one hurt most by his animalistic behavior. He felt if he stayed beside Yoshimori any longer, he would definitely hurt him later.

Thus…when Kokuborou decided to attack Karasumori fully that night, when an ayakashi called Gagin came down to sky to eliminate the kekkaishis, Gen stood before him and Yoshimori and Yukimura to protect them. He fought as hard as he could, using all of his strength to the extent of using Karasumori's blessing to draw out his full power while still maintaining his _human_ side. Then, when Kaguro slashed him with his katana and his world slowly turned into darkness he was glad. He didn't feel any pain at all. He was satisfied that he could die protecting the one he loved, the one he cherished most in this world.

_Yoshimori…I am glad…I am able to meet you…._

When he thought he wanted to die and Karasumori began to assist his will, a hand grabbed his. Faint desperate voice called his name. In the midst of losing his consciousness and his life, he could see Yoshimori shouting his name worriedly and the water drops started falling on his face.

_Is it raining?_

Gen couldn't help thinking as he tried to focus. It was not raining…it was…Yoshimori's tears. He was crying while shouting his name. Crying…looking so hurt and painful; and he said something…something…

"Don't you dare die on me, Shishio Gen! I need you here, you bastard! Don't die!" He was screaming; he was clutching Gen's hand hard. "Did you hear me!? Come back to me, Shishio! I need you!"

_He needs me…? I…the filthy Ayakashi Majiri who almost killed his own sister and almost hurt him with his claws…. Does he really…?_

"_You love him don't you?"_—part of Gen's mind spoke to him from the back of his head.

_Yes…I love him…more than anyone else…_

"_Then…how could you make him cry like that?"_—wait, it was not Gen's mind speaking. It was…what? Who? Gen didn't really understand, but the voice was calming and cooling it felt really comfortable listening to it.

_Cry…?_

"_You will hurt him even more if you die right now, leaving him behind like that."_

_He will be…hurt?_

"_Would you still wish to die knowing your death will hurt him most?"_

"Shishio!" Gen could still hear Yoshimori's desperate shout, calling for him. He could see his tearful eyes and face and the look…his expression…it was heart-wrenching he almost cried himself.

_Don't cry…. I don't wish…to make him cry…._

"_Your wish then…?"_

_I…want to see his smile…. I want him…to smile…always…always…._

When Gen finally closed his eyes losing his consciousness completely, he faintly heard the soft voice spoke, _"Your wish…is granted."_

The next thing Gen knew, all his pain was gone; and when he opened his eyes, he was on a futon beneath a warm blanket under a wooden ceiling, with Yoshimori sleeping beside him, his hand still holding his gently.

"What…?" Gen couldn't really comprehend the situation. He thought he had died. With his free hand, he tried to pinch his own cheek, to check whether he was dreaming or something. Still, the pinch hurt his cheek, so he assumed he was still alive and was not dreaming.

Gen glanced beside him at the sleeping Yoshimori. He was sound asleep, looking very innocent and content. _Did he find my company comfortable for him?_—unconsciously Gen's hand reached at Yoshimori's hair that covered his forehead and stroke it lightly, moving few strands of hair to get a better look of Yoshimori's face. There were still few traces of tears on his face. He must have tired himself out while crying. He looked just like a child like that.

Gen closed his eyes and leaned closer to Yoshimori's face. "Forgive me, for making you cry…," he whispered lightly and planted a feather kiss on Yoshimori's forehead.

"Nnh…," Yoshimori moaned a little as a response, and he tossed his hand a bit aside only to find Shisio's arm and hugged it tightly while forming a small relieved smile on his face.

Gen couldn't help blushing at that. No, no, no! Scratch that! He was Shishio Gen and he didn't blush! Oh well…Yoshimori looked so cute just now he couldn't really make a right expression. Okay, maybe it was close to blush but…_Damn him for being this CUTE!_—Gen couldn't help feeling sorry for himself for falling more and more to this little devil's trap.

Yeah, Yoshimori cared about Gen, and before…he said it again that he needed him. Yoshimori needed him and he didn't let go off his hand whatever happened. He was…still holding at him even now. He cared a lot…even though it was not love, even though it was not the kind of affection Gen hope from him, well, he liked that. He could bear with it. He could survive with it. As long as Yoshimori smiled for him, as long as he needed him, he could live for that.

"As long as you're beside me… and as long as I can be by your side…, I feel…full." Gen closed his eyes once more. He felt a bit sleepy. He could rest a bit more before tomorrow came and then…and then…Yoshimori would say 'good morning' and smile for him again with his cheery expression.

**~Fin~

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**A/N: **Eheheh, now I tried to make Kekkaishi fanfic. I know it's probably lame, but I really want to make one. It's supposed to be one shoot, but let me know if you want me to make it into series. I still have some ideas to put in this story, but because the theme would be different, it will be better to make it into separate chapters. Anyway, if you read it and find it worthy, please comment, ne? Criticism and suggestion are welcome, but don't flame please? Anyway, thanks for reading beforehand. See you at next story or at next project.

With Love,

Lunaryu~~~


	2. Comfort

My hands are very itching to write more about Gen and Yoshi~ XDDD****

A/N: Well, call this a sequel of **'If Things Run Differently'** or call this the next chapter of the story or whatever you want. I'll give this the same title as the previous with different theme. Last time I made it **_'smile'_**…and now let's take**_ 'comfort'_** as a theme ^__^

**Summary:** After the last fight with Kaguro and Gagin, something strange happens to Gen's body. Everyone, especially Yoshimori thought this was a good thing, but how did Gen feel about this changing?

**Disclaimer: Tanabe Yellow owns Kekkaishi, and not Luna. She only borrows the boys and girls to play with ^__^**

**Warning: **_semi AU, possible of oOC-ness, sap, fluff, shounen ai XD_

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**If Things Run Differently**

**_Comfort_**

It was a few weeks later after the incident of that night, when Shishio Gen almost died protecting Karasumori from Kokuborou; or in this case protecting Yoshimori and Yukimura from Gagin and Kaguro. Of course, Yoshimori had defeated both of the monsters; and Karasumori somehow had rejected their leader to become its master. Masamori, his leader at Yagyou, as well as Yoshimori's older brother, told Gen this story when Gen was still bedridden.

There was also a time when Yoshimori talked to Gen after he was able to wake up and sit. "You know, you'd probably be angry if I say this after everything you'd been through," Yoshimori said as he scratched his cheek.

Gen only raised one of his eyebrows at him. "What is it?" he asked slowly.

"I…at that time when you almost died…I was glad that you're an Ayakashi Majiri," Yoshimori said, looking at anywhere but Gen. Gen was still silent, thinking and waiting for the other boy to continue. "Otherwise…you would seriously die back then," Yoshimori continued eventually as he didn't hear any retort from the Ayakashi Majiri. "I was glad…that you're born as Ayakashi Majiri, otherwise…we would never meet at all; you would…not stay beside me right now," he said as he closed his eyes, left hand reaching at Gen's dark-blue yukata collar and forehead resting on his left shoulder.

Gen was rather shocked as the other boy showed him a vulnerable figure like that, especially in front of him after all the superior act Yoshimori had put on the entire time. He was really stunned he couldn't even react properly. He of course couldn't see Yoshimori's expression at that time because he hid it with his bangs and the angle was impossible for Gen to see through his hair, but he could definitely tell when he felt the quiver hand on his yukata and the trembling shoulders beside him.

Angry? Don't be kidding. Instead of feeling angry over that, Gen was…overwhelmed by a feeling he couldn't name it anything but excitement. He didn't know what happened exactly, but his heart thumped really fast and he couldn't control his expression. The corner of his mouth twitched, he wanted to smile very much it was painful to maintain his coolness. In the end he smiled happily at that. Well, Yoshimori couldn't see him, so it was alright.

"Don't you dare…do something like that again, Shishio," Yoshimori said as Gen put his left hand to Yoshimori's head and ruffled his hair. "If you dare dying in front of me ever again, I won't forgive you this easily," he continued and Gen decided he could grin like an idiot when he imagined the kekkaishi boy pouting while blushing under that bangs.

For the first time in his life, Gen thanked God that he was an Ayakashi Majiri because he was given this opportunity to take Yoshimori's attention fully for himself. Yoshimori then raised his face and gave him his expectant stare. Gen closed his eyes and smiled at him faintly, trying to reassure the boy that he would never do that again. Gen was truly happy when a relieved smile bloomed on Yoshimori's face.

Yoshimori of course couldn't stay beside Gen all the time. He had school duties and a land to protect. Well, even though he still had time to visit Gen now and then between his activities. Usually Yoshimori came after school or when he was about to go to Karasumori land at night. Well, sometimes he also came with Yukimura girl, but she didn't come as often as Yoshimori.

Occasionally, Yoshimori would just sit there at the corner of the room while doing his homework or sharing some notes to Gen who was not able to go to school yet. At times he would just drop by and sleep in entire afternoon peacefully in Gen's presence. To let you know, Gen was treated in one of Yagyou's members' house. It was still in Karasumori of course, but it was quite remote and far from the town, so Gen found it a bit strange that Yoshimori came almost every day only to see how he was doing.

Still then, Gen became so accustomed to Yoshimori's presence now it almost scary. He felt extremely weird if the young kekkaishi boy was not around. Moreover, one thing came to Gen's mind and bothered him at some extent when Gen looked at his own body. It felt weird. His body felt heavy and the pain of the damage he sustained from the last battle had not healed yet. It was the first time he came to near-death experience of course, but he couldn't nail it quite right. It was as if…he had lost his ability to regenerate fast.

It was the first time for Gen being unable to move for several weeks after a battle. Wounds like those…they would usually heal in three days, maximally a week if it was quite lethal, but now…. It just felt really alien to Gen he couldn't help wondering.

Then, when finally he was able to move again and began to review his training, his muscles protested so much it was really painful. The rehabilitation was done in Atora's guiding, but he still couldn't move as fast as before. Atora also found it rather strange. Thus when the time came for him to actual combat, Shishio Gen couldn't activate his ayakashi's power. In result he was slammed by Atora's pet quite hard and was sent flying six meters behind.

"Gen!" Atora ran at him worriedly as he was trying to stand up. It was painfully hard to move again. "Gen, are you alright?" Atora knelt beside him, trying to help him.

"I couldn't…activate my power," Gen said while looking at his hands in confusion.

_What the hell happened to my body!?_

When Masamori came to check on him, he informed him something so shocking. "It seems…Gen lost his _ayakashi's_ side," he said slowly and calmly, but in a serious tone.

"Is that even possible!?" Yoshimori who happened to be there was quite surprised. Atora and Yukimura also widened their eyes at that in shocked looks, but the one who was shocked most by this news was…Shishio Gen himself.

"I don't know for sure. It's the first case ever happening where Ayakashi Majiri lost his _ayakashi_. Usually, if the ayakashi dies, the person will also dies since they share a same soul, but this…will actually explain why Gen suddenly loses his power," Masamori said, trying to explain.

"Can't it be just a dormant time after the near-death experience?" Yukimura spoke her opinion.

"That is another possibility," Masamori then put his fingers on his chin, thinking silently before he made eye contact with Gen. "How are you feeling, Gen?" he asked then.

"I don't know…it just feels weird. My muscles become so stiff it's hard to move like I used to. My speed also decreases significantly and…I just can't bring out the claws," Gen said as he moved his fingers in clenching-unclenching motion.

"Most importantly, when you got hurt…?" Masamori asked further.

"Yes, it doesn't regenerate as fast as it should. It takes much longer time to heal than it used to," Gen answered.

"Then it is not dormant," Atora spoke at that. "In an Ayakashi Majiri dormant power case, it doesn't decrease the ability to regenerate fast," she said, filling the information. "Impossible…could it be really…."

"Isn't that great?" suddenly Yoshimori said while grinning widely, stealing everyone's attention in the room. Gen was a bit shocked when he heard that. Everyone was confused, but Yoshimori's grin widened even more. "That way, Shishio, you can come back to become a normal boy and stay with your family again, right? I bet your family will be really glad and excited to take you back!" he said really cheerfully.

Yoshimori's cheery grin and mood were contagious somehow, everyone in the room started chuckling at how positive Yoshimori could be. Even Masamori sighed while smiling. He ruffled Yoshimori's hair while saying, "You're right."

Yoshimori started complaining after that, that his brother messed up his already messed up hair and pouted at him childishly. Masamori just grinned at him and messed his hair even more despite the younger's struggling. Atora and Yukimura giggled at them. Somehow…Gen was the only one who felt a bit remorseful at that situation.

No, no, he didn't feel unhappy about the prospect of meeting and staying with his family again, but…it seemed Yoshimori forgot one thing or he just felt that it was unimportant enough for him to mention. If he became a normal boy…without any power or so…he wouldn't be able to stay at Karasumori anymore. Didn't that equal him having to leave Yoshimori's side as well? Didn't Yoshimori…feel anything about that?

In the midst of the cheery situation, Gen looked at his hands again. He felt at loss. He was supposed to hate his body as an Ayakashi Majiri…but then…why did it feel so hard letting it go? He had to…prepare to leave his life he had been accustomed to. He had to…get used to not being around Yoshimori anymore.

When they went to school again together some days later, Gen stopped talking to Yoshimori and Yukimura. He was never there at the usual spot on the rooftop when Yoshimori took a nap and Gen was not in his class when he looked for him. Even though Gen still looked at Yoshimori at some point, he could no longer greet him and speak to him like he used to. They had belonged to different worlds. A world where Yoshimori lived now was different from him; a world once Gen knew, but no longer since he lost his power.

At one afternoon then, somehow Yoshimori had had enough of this silent treatment he got from Gen and confronted him. "What the hell is your problem, Shishio!? How could you ignore me and Tokine when we need you!?" Yoshimori pointed his forefinger at him in accusation while setting that pissed look.

Gen could only stare at him for a second and then looked at another way, irritating Yoshimori even more. "Don't look away from me, damn it! I am talking to you, Shishio Gen!" Yoshimori yelled at him again in frustration.

"I don't have…anything to do with you anymore," Gen said slowly, still not looking at Yoshimori. Gen thought Yoshimori would immediately retort back at him, but when there was no reply from the other boy, the spiky haired boy couldn't help stealing a glance at Yoshimori. What he saw there was shocking him to the bone.

Yoshimori was…looking at him as if he had been hurt. Well, he probably was since he looked at him with a painful expression. "I see," Yoshimori then said while closing his eyes. "After obtaining the normal life, you don't want to have anything to do with ayakashi's world anymore. I am sorry," he said as he turned his back.

When he was about to leave, Gen couldn't help himself. His hand just moved on its own accord and reached at Yoshimori's shoulder. "You're the one who said I could go home and live normally," Gen mouth also move and his voice came out against his will, his eyes looking at Yoshimori's seriously, almost angry. He grabbed Yoshimori's shoulder really hard it was almost painful even for his hand.

"What…?" Yoshimori looked at Gen's face in confusion.

_Wait, what the hell I am saying!? Stop it, my mouth!_—Gen's head screamed to shut his mouth, but at that time, his body just didn't want to hear his brain order.

"You're the one who said it was great that I could go home and leave everything behind to come back to that normal life!" his voice increased a bit. He didn't know why he was angry. He didn't know why…he felt hurt.

_You're saying…that you don't need me anymore…!_—Gen gritted his teeth and shut his eyes.

"Shishio…," Yoshimori seemed seeing Gen's painful expression and with his free hand he hit Gen's head hard.

"OW! What the hell—!" Gen almost protested at Yoshimori, but then he grabbed Gen's hand and looked at him seriously, cutting whatever line the taller boy wanted to berate at him.

_My presence means nothing to you but a burden now…!_

"Who says to leave everything behind?" Yoshimori asked then, eyes staring straightly at Gen's ones, demanding an explanation.

"Well, isn't that right? You said it was great that my power was gone. Do you even consider what that means? I have to leave Karasumori and I won't be able to fight beside you guys anymore. Isn't that the same as telling me to leave you alone? Without my power…I can't even protect myself, let alone protect anything else. I will just drag your feet down and I…!

_I can't stay by your side anymore…!_

"I've lost my right…to be your friend…!" Gen blurted out everything in his chest, still closing his eyes painfully, slowly prying his hand off Yoshimori's. He felt so miserable he almost cried. Oh God, tell him it was not true! How could Shishio Gen almost cry over something so stupid like this!? What the hell was wrong with him anyway!?

"Are you a moron?" then came Yoshimori's weird answer, it ticked Gen very much. He actually wanted to yell at the boy, but then he was thrown overboard as Yoshimori began to chuckle and laugh.

"What's so damn funny?" Gen couldn't help growling at him.

"Oh, God, I can't believe this. Shishio, you think too much!" Yoshimori then laughed hard and slapped Gen's back hard. "How come you conclude something as depressing as that? I only said it was great you could reunite with your family again. And the _normal life_ thing I said back then means you can finally join the social life without fearing that someday you will hurt anyone with your power! You can make many friends this way, not losing right to become a friend! By the way, who says you will drag our feet down? We still need your _ninja_ skill to gain information! And who tells you to leave us alone? Your presence has become so familiar for me it feels weird if you're not around. Anyway, I haven't paid back my debt for being rescued by you several times, so I will take the advantage to protect you from now on!" Yoshimori grinned widely at that, looking really happy.

Gen could only widen his eyes in a surprised look. That was…Yoshimori's thought when he said that. It was filled with Gen's hope when he was still a kid. A normal life…with many friends….

"And Shishio," now Yoshimori had calmed down from his laugh and looked at Shishio's eyes surely in gentle look, "Your presence here…has always given me strength to fight, whether you have ayakashi power or not, it doesn't matter. By realizing that you're here, alive well, staying by my side…it makes me happy and relieved. That's why… don't go anywhere. Stay beside me," Yoshimori then took Shishio's hand again and gripped it tightly. "Like I said…I will never let go of your hand and you too, don't let go off my hand that easily, okay?" he said with determined gaze and tone.

Gen could only look at their hands entwined strongly and then slowly to Sumimura Yoshimori's face. Moments later…a smile, a genuine one, once again bloomed from Gen's stoical expression. "It's a promise then," he said while looking determinedly at Yoshimori's eyes as well.

Yoshimori smiled happily and cutely again at him, forcing Gen to look at another way again or he would definitely blush this time.

A day later, Yoshimori could find Gen on his usual napping spot and he grinned at Gen who just scowled at him to leave if he was about to bother him with unnecessary babbling. Still then, after Yoshimori forced Gen to sit down and to hear his babbling, mostly his whining of how cold Yukimura was to him, Yoshimori ended up leaning on Gen's warm back while looking at vast-vast blue sky without clouds.

"Hey, it's heavy, move it," Gen complained wile frowning. Somehow, these days he didn't have any personal space anymore as Yoshimori kept intruding and tailing him everywhere.

"Nope, I am comfortable like this," Yoshimori said while grinning, not that Gen could see his stupid face, but he could imagine how it looked.

"Are you really that comfortable around me?" Gen asked then, a question he had been wanting to ask for awhile now.

"Yep!" Yoshimori chirped happily.

"To tell you the truth, I am not really comfortable with it," Gen said then, earning a confused 'huh?' from Yoshimori. "Being close to you does strange things to my head, I almost can't control it," he confessed, purposely being vague due to the fear of rejection. His face was a bit red, but Yoshimori couldn't possibly see him with their back-to-back positions.

Yoshimori didn't say anything at that, Gen's heart pounding so hard and fast it almost burst out his ribcage. He wondered if Yoshimori could feel that through his back. In the end Yoshimori still didn't say anything, but he moved his hand and reached at Gen's. Gen was startled at first, but then he felt Yoshimori's hand entwine itself on his. It felt rough, full of scars of his intense training, but it was warm and comforting. Gen's heartbeat slowed down, and became steady after several times. Yoshimori didn't say anything indeed, but he didn't reject him as well.

Yoshimori was still comfortable beside him. Gen concluded silently.

Gen smiled small and closed his eyes at that. For the time being, he would also try to be comfortable around Yoshimori. He could also make himself feel comfortable like this, beside Yoshimori, warm and content.

**~Fin~**

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**A/N: **It's sappy, too sappy! T_T I am sorry for making Gen rather oOC here. It's just the real Gen is too emotionless, but I do feel he would have felt insecure if he had been in that position. Well, aside for the stupid fluff and sap, hope this fic is also okay. Comments are always welcome ^__^

With Love,

Lunaryu~~~


	3. Feel

**A/N: **Ha, it's been awhile since the last time I wrote in this fandom. Well, since I have a little bit time, I decided to update this then. The third installment in "**If Things Run Differently**" after _**'smile'** and **'comfort'.**_ I hope you'll enjoy this _**'feel' **_as well.

**Summary: **Gen was asked to go home, but he didn't really have courage to go face his family. Yoshimori tried to encourage him, and surprisingly, they found the similarities of their feelings towards each other.

**Disclaimer: Tanabe Yellow owns Kekkaishi.**

**Warning: **_shounen ai/yaoi (Gen/Yoshi), a little bit of oOC, fluff, sap, and drama (-_-;) Oh,and unbeta-ed, sorry... T_T  


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_**Feel**_

It was three months after the battle with Kaguro and it was known that Gen lost his _ayakahi_ side, becoming ordinary boy (but of course still with observation skill and physical power above ordinary human because he was trained professionally in _Yagyou_).

Gen had tried very hard to adjust with his less abnormal body and ability, and had to try not to get hurt too much and too often when he was dealing with ayakashi attacking Karasumori, since Gen's ability to recover was _normal_ -like normal person- now, and by God, he could still see those monsters very clearly.

Now, don't get Gen wrong. He didn't just blindly charge an ayakashi with bare hand. He observed them while dodging their attacks and assisted Yoshimori and Yukimura when they needed him to distract those things, giving them more time to prepare the final attack to destroy them. Gen was glad that he could still be useful even though his power and agility weren't as great as before.

Gen and Yoshimori's relationship as friends couldn't get any better. The ex-_ayakashi majiri_ started learning to befriend everybody in school like what Yoshimori suggested. Well, he was still socially awkward and couldn't read situation very well when it involved girls, but at least he tried to learn to do those things as well. Yoshimori helped him with the gap, though he was as clueless about that as Gen.

Yoshimori never thought much about girls but Yukimura. Gen understood that wholeheartedly. It made him a bit jealous sometimes, because, well… he secretly harbored special feeling for Yoshimori, like Yoshimori for Yukimura. Still, at least Yoshimori never whined about Yukimura's treatment to him again like he used to. Precisely after that time on the rooftop, where Gen might have vaguely told Yoshimori how he felt about the shorter boy.

Gen recalled that Yoshimori didn't really answer it, but he didn't reject him either. Yoshimori held his hand and that was it. They never brought it up again.

Gen was actually curious. Was that Yoshimori's way to say _'let's just be friends'_ or _'I'm still confused about my feelings for you, so will you wait until I short them out'_?

But to ask that kind of question would be very embarrassing. Even though Gen was trying to be friendlier, he still held his reputation as a cool and aloof person. He didn't want to look stupid for nothing if Yoshimori just wanted to be friends with him.

While Gen was trying to figure out how to broach the subject to Yoshimori again, something bigger came up unexpectedly in the form of Yoshimori's elder brother, Gen's chief in Yagyou, Masamori Sumimura.

"Huh?" Gen was a little surprised when Masamori informed him about the news. "Just now… what?" He widened his eyes in disbelief. He must have heard it wrong.

Masamori smiled warmly, looking a little bit amused. "I've got a letter from your family, Gen. They asked me to return you to them." He handed Gen the letter.

"Eh… but…," Gen, receiving the letter from his chief, didn't know what to say to that. It had been awhile since he heard from them, and to tell everyone the truth, Gen hadn't exactly informative about his situation to them as well, since he believed that it would be better for them to know as little as possible about him and his task.

Anyway, he'd never expected to be able to come home before, so Gen didn't bother to contact them as well. Besides, he didn't really want to go home.

"I… don't think I can go home…," Gen looked at the floor, expressionless as always despite what Yoshimori and Tokine had been doing to make him more like 'human.'

When it was about his family, Gen couldn't help remembering about _that time,_ how he had hurt his elder sister just before he was taken under Masamori's care in Yagyou. Even though it was because of his Ayakashi power acting up on his distraught emotion for feeling the sense of abandonment from his family, didn't mean what he had done could be justified. He still hadn't been able to forgive himself these past years, and he was sure that his sister hadn't forgiven him as well.

But… it had really been awhile. Even though he was still afraid of what he would see in his sister's eyes… Gen missed her. He yearned to see her, to know how she was now. Well, his father too, but his sister was always closer to him from anyone else.

Gen's feeling was conflicted. He wanted to see his family… but going home permanently…? Could he really put all behind and lived with them again normally after everything?

"Gen," Masamori tapped his back gently. Gen looked up at the older man vacantly. "Go home," he said with understanding look.

"I don't know, Chief…. I'll think about it," Gen said while looking at the letter with unreadable expression.

—**Gen x Yoshimori—**

Gen was on the rooftop, staring at the letter on his hand while sighing long. He hadn't been able to read the letter last night. Somehow, he had no courage to do so. He didn't know what would be said in the letter even though the major point was they asking him to go home (according to Masamori). But still….

Gen sighed again, looking down. "What should I do…?"

"Shi—shio!"

Yoshimori's voice suddenly bellowed very near to Gen's right ear, startling the hell out of Gen and almost made the poor boy jump out of the rooftop.

"Yoshimori! You bastard! Are you trying to kill me!" Gen yelled at the black haired boy who grinned amusedly behind him in panicked fury. He thought his heart had exploded just now. Yes, even though he had no problem in detecting evil presence, somehow, he couldn't detect the presence of people generally, especially the technique users who were trained to hide their aura and power.

And yes, now Gen could express his emotion more freely than before even though it was just to Yoshimori. Gen trusted Yoshimori more than anyone else after all, so he thought there was no point on holding himself back if it was about something trivial like this.

Well, getting almost killed by surprise and idiocy wasn't really trivial but… Gen was sure Yoshimori didn't mean it bad. He was just reckless and stupid like that.

"Whoa—! Easy, tiger. Don't get your panties in a twist like that," Yoshimori was still grinning in a good humor and Gen had to scowl at him, annoyed. "What are you doing here, anyway? It's not even noon yet," he asked then with curious smile.

"Ah? It's not your busi—!" Gen then looked at his empty hand. "Aaaah! My letter!" He looked around in panicky and saw the fluttering paper blown by the wind. "Shit—!" Gen jumped, like… really jumped out of rooftop to catch the letter.

"Shishio!" Yoshimori shouted, widening his eyes in horror as he saw that. "Idiot! What are you doing!" He quickly performed his softened kekkai to catch the spiky haired boy before he could fall to the ground, which would kill him instantly.

"Whoa! That was close…," a bead of sweat broke out of Gen's cheek as he looked down at the hard ground. He almost scattered his brain matter and painted the asphalted ground with red. Ah, but he got the letter safely in his hand.

"Are you insane! You can't just jump like that without preparation!" Yoshimori performed one more kekkai and jumped at it to help Gen to his feet while yelling at Gen how stupid his action just now was.

"Well, it's partly your fault for surprising me in the first place. I almost lost this letter," _And I haven't read it yet!_ Gen said in his defense, though the last part was just in his head.

"A letter?" Yoshimori's face turned curious, all the annoyance evaporating instantly.

_His attention span is short as always… so easy to distract him_—Gen thought, sweat dropping.

"Yeah…, from my family," Gen informed helpfully. He could also share something personal once in awhile with Yoshimori now. He was still a bit uncomfortable, but he was willing to try. After all, he was learning to be normal human.

Yoshimori looked surprised, but then he showed a pleased smile at Gen, and the spiky haired boy had to look elsewhere or he would blush. "What did they say?" The legitimate successor of Sumimura family jumped at the kekkai Gen used as seat and sat beside him while focusing on the paper in Gen's hand.

"You're being nosy, you know," Gen tried to hide the letter.

"Eeeh? Isn't it okay?" Yoshimori pouted cutely at Gen, and the taller boy had the urge to groan.

_Damn him and his cute kicked puppy expression!_

"Fine. But even I haven't read it," Gen grumbled and let Yoshimori see the letter closer.

"Huh? Why not?" He looked up at Gen's face closely and Gen had to pull back a little or they would kiss.

_Personal space, mind the personal space, damn it!_—Gen's heart beat faster at that, but he tried his best not to blush.

Then Gen registered what Yoshimori was asking and he didn't really know how to answer that. "Um… I don't really know…. I guess, I am a little insecure of what's written inside, so…."

Gen looked away from Yoshimori's eyes to focus on his lap. He didn't know why, but his lap was suddenly very interesting to look at. Truthfully, he felt a little embarrassed admitting that he was scared of something. But Yoshimori already knew the story of Gen and his family, so he figured Yoshimori wouldn't laugh at that.

Yoshimori looked thoughtful for a second and then he looked like he got a brilliant idea. "Then, let's read it together! That way you won't be alone when you face it, right?" He grinned cheerily and gen widened his eyes for a moment in astonishment.

Gen didn't know how Yoshimori knew what was inside his head and what Gen wanted to hear most, but he was grateful. He was tired of being alone in the roller coaster of his emotion and feelings concerning his family.

Gen smiled small at Yoshimori. "Okay." Yoshimori also smiled happily as Gen tentatively opening the letter. He took a deep breath and began to read.

_Dear Gen,_

_How are you Gen? Are you healthy? Sister and father are okay here. It's been forever since we heard from you. You never reply our letters. We miss you, you know? I know it's hard for you to miss us after what happened. And I know you probably haven't forgiven us yet. But believe us. We always, and I meant always, love you the way you are. Although it probably sounds like an excuse, it's the truth._

_Gen, you are a good boy. And even though we haven't been able to meet you yet after you'd been taken away, we want to. Please tell us you'd come home._

_We want you to come home. Will you forgive us and come home? Gen… I really want to see you. I miss you very much. I'll wait for your positive reply._

_With love,_

_Sister._

_P.S. I always clean your room and wait for your return._

Gen remained silent after re-reading it once again. There was an awkward stillness between Yoshimori and Gen after that.

"You never replied her letter?" Yoshimori started, breaking the silence. He looked at Gen in confusion.

Gen was a little surprised at the sudden question and looked at Yoshimori with a lost look. "I never received one."

"Huh? But here she said 'letters'. That's plural. And from the way she wrote, she was kind of desperate to hear from you." Yoshimori pointed.

"Hmm…," Gen was thinking for awhile. "I think I know what happened. All the letters from the Yagyou's members' families were usually intercepted so we could focus on our training."

"What!" Yoshimori looked almost protesting, so Gen quickly continued his reasoning.

"I guess chief thought it would only deepen the wound by reading them while knowing we could never come back to them, at least not in the normal way."

Yoshimori didn't stray his gaze form Gen's face even though Gen didn't look at him. He was silent for a moment before he said "But you could now. So he gave you the letter."

It wasn't a question, but Gen nodded anyway, to confirm that it was the truth. "Well…, Chief is always thoughtful like that." Gen smiled again, feeling very lucky to have such caring boss.

"It's not so scary anymore, is it, reading the letter?" Yoshimori smiled at Gen with a soft expression and Gen had to look at him now because he didn't want to miss the attention Yoshimori gave him.

"I guess," Gen shrugged, but he was relieved that he finally knew what his sister and his father were thinking all this time. They also felt guilty like Gen did. He guessed he and his family had a lot to catch up to… so they could once again become the real family.

"You're going to go home, right?" Yoshimori asked again with confident expression.

"Hmm… maybe, I'm not sure…," Gen muttered lightly, thinking once again.

"Why the hell not? It's a big chance for you to reconcile with them!" Yoshimori said, seeming trying to encourage him.

"Well… it's not that easy, you know? We can't just put everything behind us and move on. They're family… that's why it's harder to forgive." Gen said with even tone, trying hard not to show the residue of pain he had felt those years ago.

"You… haven't forgiven them yet?" Yoshimori asked while frowning sadly.

"No… despite everything that happened, I know I was the one at fault. I couldn't help feeling I don't deserve their forgiveness. I… haven't forgiven myself, you know… for hurting them," Gen said solemnly.

"Shishio…," Yoshimori looked at Gen with sympathetic look.

_I'm scared… that she'll look at me that way again…—_Gen closed his eyes and remembered the terrified look of his sister when he attacked her. He wouldn't be able to stand it if he saw that expression once again. He would break into thousands of pieces.

"You're weird… and stupid to boot," Yoshimori said suddenly.

"What?" Gen set his annoyed expression. So much for a deep meaningful conversation. Yoshimori always had that strange ability to break the tension and piss people off at the same time, like little kid with insightful speech. Really annoying.

"Well, I know that you feel guilty for hurting them, but that's just the superficial reason of you not wanting to see them. You're just afraid to see them getting hurt again because of you, so you choose to stay away. But that's wrong. If you're afraid of seeing them getting hurt, why don't you try to protect them instead?" Yoshimori crossed his arms in front of his chest, his eyes boring deeply into Gen's surprised ones. "I know how you feel, you know… because something similar happened to me once as well."

"Eh?" Gen widened his eyes.

"Someone I really care about… got hurt because of me. I felt so guilty, so guilty… hell, I'm still feeling it until now, but I learned to face it a long time ago. I realized… if I was afraid of seeing her getting hurt again, I just had to make sure it wouldn't happen again. I'd become stronger and protect her with everything I have." Yoshimori explained. "Don't you feel the same, Shishio… Gen?" Yoshimori called Gen's first name, and his words hooked him in the right place inside his heart that Gen was speechless, completely stunned.

Yoshimori chuckled at Gen's baffled expression. "It seems, you and I are more similar than we thought, huh?"

"Yoshimori…," Gen didn't know what to say. Yoshimori always surprised him like this. Just the moment he thought Yoshimori would joke, he would spot some perceptive words that made Gen's world shift and rotate differently. In a way, Gen always thought the same thing, but he never had the courage to think that positive. Yoshimori was… awesome.

Gen couldn't help it. He was falling even more… harder than before and he doubt he could contain the flow of those feelings inside him any longer. Anymore, and he would burst. He had to say something to him. He had to. He wanted Yosimori to notice him like he did Yoshimori.

"Yoshimori…, I… to you…!" Gen was about to say it when Yoshimori took a step faster.

"I like you, Gen," Yoshimori said with confidence in his face, his smile and tone. "I really do."

"Yoshi…?" Gen widened his eyes in surprise when Yoshimori leaned in closely and gave him a peck at the corner of Gen'slips.

Gen, caught completely off guard, couldn't contain the blush that spread to his face and neck the moment Yoshimori pulled back to look at his reaction. "Y-you…!" Gen touched his lips in bewilderment and embarrassment at the sudden brave act, and didn't know how to react.

The bastard is overstepping him again!

Yoshimori chuckled again. "You took too long, Gen. I was tired of waiting," he grinned now with innocent look.

"H-how did… but Yukimura…!" Gen was confused. He thought Yoshimori liked Yukimura. Then why did he…?

Yoshimori laughed lightly at that. "For a guy who's so popular with women, you're pretty dense too. I've liked Tokine for a long time. I care deeply about her. But I realized truly when you almost died, Gen… I can't lose you too, and I won't. Tokine is like a sister to me because we're always together since we're kids, just the same way you feel about your sister, right? I want to always protect her and make her happy. That's family for. But you… to explain my feelings for you…, that's the tough one. You're not exactly my family, and I only met you some months ago. Heck, I sometimes still don't understand you and your head. But then… how come I feel like this towards you? I'm comfortable around you. Being with you makes me want to smile a lot. I'm curious about you. I want to know more about you and know you better. I want to be closer to you."

Gen gaped at all the confession."So… that's why you always seems uncaring about invading my personal space! I thought you did it to everybody."

A bead of sweat dropped from Yoshimori's head. "Are you a moron? I never invaded anybody's personal space except you," Yoshimori deadpanned.

"And Yukimura," Gen added, narrowing his eyes, because he had ever seen him done that before.

"Yeah, and earned a smack on the head or on the face. She is a violent type, and her reaction is always easy to predict you know…," Yoshimori sighed while looking down. "But with you… I have to be extra careful, because you're hard to read. I don't want you to shut me down because you're freaked out by my advance…," now he looked at Gen's eyes again while grinning sheepishly.

Gen chuckled at that. He actually really chuckled after thinking how stupid he had been for being confused and panicked on his own, while Yoshimori was waiting for him to make a move. "All this time… and I can just say 'I like you' to get you…."

"Yeah. We're pretty slow, huh?" Yoshimori laughed heartedly at that.

Gen looked at Yoshimori fondly before he reached to hold Yoshimori's shoulder. Yoshimori's laugh was slowing considerably as he looked at Gen's dark chocolate eyes. "Gen…?"

Gen lowered his gaze at Yoshimori's lips and he saw those pink lips part slowly. He looked at Yoshimori's eyes again and saw the desire that he was sure mirroring his. Gen leaned closer and closed their small gap with a kiss.

Gen was so surprised earlier that he didn't have time to feel Yoshimori's peck, but now… now he felt it with all of his heart. Yoshimori's lips were softer than he thought, a little dry, but it sparked something wonderful inside him. He thought he saw the firework explode in the night sky when his lips touched Yoshimori's.

"Nn…," Yoshimori closed his eyes and kissed Gen back slowly, languidly, making Gen's heart fluttering and beating violently through his ribcage. They took their time knowing each other's lips until the heat was building and was too hot to ignore.

Gen pulled back slightly and put his forehead on Yoshimori's, eyes still closed and he could still feel the tingling sensation on his lips. "Would you…, would you come home with me if I ask you to?" He didn't plan to say that, but it just came out without his permission.

"What, to your home _home_? To the family?" Yoshimori sounded surprised.

"Yeah… for moral support?" Gen smiled invitingly and Yoshimori kissed him once more like he had hoped him to.

"Of course…. Besides… I want to see the place where you were born and grew up as the 'little Gen'," Yoshimori grinned mischievously at Gen while curving his hands on Gen's neck.

Gen blushed slightly. "Idiot…," he said with a reddening face, but he was still smiling gently and feeling that he was the happiest person in this world.

Gen thought, his feeling had been numb after what happened with his family years ago, but Yoshimori…, Yoshimori proved it wrong. Since he met Yoshimori, Gen's feeling was in constant roller coaster. He felt a lot of different things beside rage and sadness when he was with Yoshimori. Sometimes annoyance, sometimes confliction, sometimes confusion, but mostly… happy. Since he met Yoshimori and knew that the boy would never let go of his hand… Gen felt very happy.

And the feeling coursing through Gen's body and heart when he knew that Yoshimori had the same feeling as him…, incomparable. He had never felt something so… wonderful like this.

And Gen was sure, as sure as hell, that it was the best feeling he had ever known in his life.

**End of Feel

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**A/N: **Yah, it's been awhile, I know. But finally I can update this collective one-shots ^^;;. I hope you guys are still with me and these silly pieces. Well, the plot ran towards completely AU, I know… but I still can't get over the fact that Gen was no longer in the series so… forgive the inaccuracy of his characterization in this. I hope you like it though. What do you think? Feed-backs are always welcome ^_^


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